Do you try too hard in relationships?If so, there is good news. First, you're not alone. An awful lot of women try too hard in their relationships. In fact, trying too hard is almost a part of the female condition – albeit a sometimes unhelpful part of the female condition. Second, it's never too late to change things in such a way that you raise your value, work less hard, and enjoy way more love – and consideration – from a partner. There is something counter-intuitive about what happens when women try too hard in relationships. Women are better at relationships than men, we're told. We're into our touchy-feely, caring side in a way that not a whole lot of men are. We are caregivers, home-makers, nurturers extraordinaire. All good things right? So, how come, we do what we do best, to the best of our ability, and try our socks off - only to have it backfire on us? How come we end up lavishing our love on men, and they just don't appreciate us? Before I answer that question, let's look first at what you do when all that love and nurture doesn't pay the dividends you expected. How do you respond when Mr. Man falls down badly in the love and appreciation department? Long-term, you'll probably do the sane thing and walk. But before you do that, you tend to try a couple of strategies:
Strategies of women who try too hard in relationshipsStrategy #1 Lavish even more love and nurture on him. Selflessness has to be the way forward. Doesn't it? Strategy #2 Reproach him. If he knows where you feel he is going wrong, he will have to change. Right? Sometimes, you employ these strategies one at a time; often you alternate between the two. The results are, generally disappointing. If trying too hard in your relationship does not work, then trying even harder will not work either. When you tell him what he should be doing, it only seems to trigger resentment and defensiveness. That is not fair, right? Absolutely. But that thought doesn't make anything better. Quite the reverse. So, how about trying a different strategy: if you try too hard in relationships without getting the response you want, one of two things must be happening:
- You're not communicating your own worth very effectively
- You've picked the wrong guy.