The greatest quality for lasting relationship happiness

needyoutolovemeiii   The greatest quality for lasting relationship happiness is…  Pause, imagine a drum roll, let the excitement build so that you are all but holding your breath in eager anticipation, and here it is, “Consistency.” (Don’t believe me? You can read more here. I don’t believe that I have ever heard anyone say: “I love X because he/she is just so consistent.” If anything, we dismiss consistency as being boring, passionless, and supremely unsexy.  Consistency doesn’t look good, smell good, or make you look good.  However, over time, it will likely make you feel far better than good looks, good dress sense, or even good holidays and a good income. I have to say that consistency is not a word that makes my pulse race.  Although I fully understand and appreciate the value it brings to a relationship.  My lovely partner is a truly, deeply consistent human being; he is unchanging in his nature and the  high standards by which he lives his life.  That consistency brings great value and happiness to my life. So, I agree totally with the notion of consistency, but I disagree with the word.  My personal belief is that  Constancy is the most beautiful quality that guarantees lasting relationship happiness. A constant person is one that is consistent it their loyalty to you. That works for me.

Bad Boy Behaviors

Women who love a Bad Boy eventually tire of Bad Boy Behaviors. Why? Because the Bad Boy is likely to be fairly consistent in his tiresome Bad Boy Behaviors,  (including infidelity, temper tantrums, and childishness).  However, he certainly will not be constant in his relationship with you. Then there are the Mean-Moody-and-Magnificent men, and the Unpredictable women.  As partners, they are great for keeping you on your toes.  Unless you want to spend the rest of your life as an emotional ballet dancer, being on your emotional toes will one day lose its charms. Mr Troubled may sound like a romantic here (or a crusade) when you first meet him. But he probably comes with a good, long warranty:  his troubles aren’t going to vanish any time soon. However,  you only have to stick around for them to become your troubles. Don’t expect to raise him up. Do expect him to pull you down. At the other end of the spectrum, are Mr and Ms Predictable.  These partners are reliable, right enough.  You could set your clock by them – but that alone is not a good enough reason to take one as a lifelong partner.  Why not? Because there is nothing to suggest that predictable people – unlike constant people – have their heart in what they do.  Rather, their predictability may be their way of avoiding deep feelings; their own and other people’s. Short relationships may be built on sex appeal.  Enduring, happy relationships need to be built on trust.  You’ll be hard pressed to find a better foundation for trust than constancy.
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